Why.

My neighbors have a pebble-lined perfect sand rectangle in their front yard with a statue in it.

One day, I was walking by with my friend and commented on how peculiar it was that they had a statue in the middle of their parking space. She looked at me, laughed, and said "Emma, that's a zen garden!"


Evidently, a zen garden looks just like a parking spot.

SUMMER!!!

If you're on the computer, please at least go here.

My Cats and the Deathly Compost

Well, I think it'd be a best seller. And make movies. And be annoyingly popular.

There's nothing much to hodgepodge, but here are my rules for church dressing:

-No shoulders. We do not care that you are giving yourself skin cancer by tanning. I mean, we do care, but we're focusing on the Lord, not your shoulders. And some of us (me) are thinking about how stupid that is, even though we have to do it before the "forgive our sins" part.
-No backs. I don't even understand this one. Why would you want to show off your back? And who wants to look at your back?
-No flip-flops. It's very noisy. Even though they were very "in" last year, and they may be the only nice pair of shoes you have, DO NOT WEAR THEM.
-No layers. A nice suit jacket, shrug, or cardigan is okay. Church is cold, yes? But REALLY? LAYERED TANK TOPS?
-No miniskirts. Some of wish you would keep that at home. Most of us, actually.
-No t-shirts or anything else sloppy. I should think this was obvious. If you have nice clothes, wear them. If you don't, go buy some.

My rules for church behavior:

-No excluding people. Well, this is obvi. I pity you.
-No "pretending not to see" the eight-year-old usher. We do not discriminate. If he's the one closest to your entrance, then you receive the pamphlet from him. If you have to crouch on the ground, so be it. I do not pity you, I just hope you're not wearing a miniskirt. See above.
-No agreeing with whatever the minister says to your neighbor every time he says something. Come, come.
-No somersaults. I don't think I have to explain.
-No running. There are lots of sweet elderly people.

I digress.

Yard Mall Sale Expo

Yesterday, we went to the famous "yard sale" at the church near the mall that held the school expo. This is what we purchased:

-White blanket for my sister's bed with a strategically placed sticker to hide stains; my mom's getting them out, though.
-White summer comforter for me!!!
-Three white 'kid' napkins.
-White tablecloth.
-China-floral-Roman numerals clock.
-Pack of doilies (25 cents!)
-Jeweled silver picture frame (for my sister).
-Silver candle holder in a leaf pattern with white glass in the leaves.

My aunt got:

-Four silver candlesticks.
-A "dust ruffle".
-Pretty floral napkins.
-Four empty "gold" picture frames.
-Antique-looking oblong frame.


All before ten o'clock! We went to the wimpy farmer's marker there. I like it as much as--other people, but the one in my town is SO MUCH BETTER.

I'll dwell on that later.

Short and sweet; like my brownies and how long they last(ed)

Hair status: Renaissance Faire-y. Get it?

My little brother still pertains to his opinion that I need a favorite dinosaur. Update soon.

We have a new reading corner and I am relaxing whilst reading in my bean-bag-chair.

I allegedly need new jeans.

I just bought the last of my summer bread. Sigh.

Perry likes to sleep on the stairs. This concerns me.

And, at last, I have a recipe I wanted to share with you.

Makes one 14-ounce smoothie

1/2 cup frozen organic blueberries
1/2 cup frozen organic strawberries
1/2 cup chilled green tea, unsweetened
3/4 cup plain low-fat organic yogurt
2 tablespoons ground flaxseed
Turbinado sugar or other natural sweetener to taste

Combine all ingredients in an electric blender and blend on medium speed until smooth, about 20 seconds. Garnish with fresh berries and serve. Note: For a nondairy alternative, you can substitute cultured soy for the yogurt.

Thank you, Martha Stewart!

And with that, I conclude.

My Corrupt Brownies and Me

RememberyesterdaywhenIhallucinated?Yes?Yes?WelltodayIdecidedtomakebrownies!
Evidentlytheymakemeveryhyper.HAHAHHAHAHAHA!Iseriouslyjustdidlaughoutloudrandomlythere.
:):):)

*deep deep breath*

I made Ghirardelli Double Chocolate brownies because as much as I like making stuff without mixes, Ghirardelli simply is THE BEST chocolate ever, and hello, yummy brownies with some work already done for you=extra-ly scrumptious.

First, I grease the pan. I now know to hold it at least six inches away from the pan unless you want to be surrounded by oil clouds. Very gross. Then I get the egg, water and canola oil. Because I am psychotic, I read the back and discovered. . . THERE IS A SERVING SUGGESTION FOR CANOLA OIL! It is ONE TABLESPOON. I am really hoping this is for people who make up recipes. Really, really hoping.

The brownies are yummalicious, so I had a rather large one whilst I mused upon my eventual taking over of the world before I graduate from my current school. Brownies are very good listeners.

Also, yesterday I discovered this blog which is about this young lady who is renouncing traditional shopping for a year and instead has given herself a budget of a dollar a day for a year to buy really ugly dresses and shirts and the like and sew them into something wearable and stylish. She also has a cooking club of which I am extraordinarily jealous. Here is a recipe she posted for a cake in a mug. I plan on making it this autumn or winter.

Queen of the World signing out.

Athletic Apparel (rhymes with "Christmas carol")

As you all know, I have believed myself to be unathletic. However, I am actually quite good once I get over my fear of the ball, as it turns out. My only REAL problem is that I am not competitive. Not such a big loss, actually, until I realize I'm supposed to CARE if I get knocked out because someone threw a ball in my face. My usual attitude is muted unenthusiasm.

{Okay, I must stray from the topic at hand. Since my computer believes that "unenthusiasm" isn't a word, which it probably isn't. Neither is "unathletic," evidently. So I Googled it and clicked "etymology," which is how the word came to be. (Sparrow grass to asparagus, remember?) And the page didn't explain unenthusiasm, just enthusiasm. Then I noticed a little fact at the top (are these websites trying to suck up to me?) that said: "Do you know what 404 means when your computer says "Error 404: Server not found"? Click here to find out!" or something along that line. It might be "404 not found." Anyway, I clicked "here" and discovered that 404 is slang for. . . wait for it. . . wait for it. . . a stupid or ineffectual person! The question is, who is the 404? The computer? Me/you? The person who set up the server? So many questions.}

However, I now own two pairs of PE shorts, fancy running shoes (which I'm supposed to have anyway; I have weak ankles and no arches), athletic socks, AND I know how to put my hair in a ponytail! Kinda sorta. . . . So I can at least LOOK like I love sports. It's weird, but t-shirts make you want to exercise. Maybe that's just me. And I might be hallucinating, like this morning when I thought I smelled brownies cooking. Sigh.

(I put up a poll! Please vote. . . you can check up to two boxes.)