Barbie Says it All

My great-aunt was a first-grade-teacher. When she passed a away, we inherited a lot of her crafts because we were at the right ages.

This past week, we were organizing our 'party bin' into a 'party closet hanging thing', and we found an 80's Barbie Valentine, which says "You're fun to know!!!" (three exclamation marks not included but implied.) If anything from the 80s should be kept, it is the distinctly impersonal valentines. Even though what you really need is a valentine that says "Yay, free class, enjoy the candy." or "If you eat too much Fun Dip stay to that side of the room, away from me." or "I broke your lollipop. Whatever."

I distinctly remember a year when my little sister and I, having used up all the lollipops with non-attached feeling, gave all the "Hug me" and "Kiss me" lollipops to my four-year-old little brother. (This is why we stick with Dove chocolate now.) No wonder so many of his friends are girls.All that aside, though, who could resist extreme jazz hands, sparkly pants, and creepy braids?

Do NOT do this at YOUR new home

Yesterday, my mother and I went over to our other house, which is usually rented. We decided to clean out the kitchen.

So, after cleaning the sink and organizing the silverware, we open the cabinets to find--I kid you not--

• A glass (crystal?) punchbowl and approximately twelve glass teacups to accompany it.
• A set of china plates, gold-rimmed.
• Two glass candlestick holders.
• A glass butter dish.
• A glass dish-cover.
• At least seven corn-on-the-cob dishes.
• A glass bowl full of corn prongs.
• Fancy silverware, of which at least some must be silver.
  

And all this in a house painted--on the inside--sage green, lime green, and sky blue. The moral of the story is to never ever leave your great-grandmother's prized possessions in one of your houses because people will have to deal with them. And stare at them. And pity your dear great-grandmother.