My dear friend and I had luncheon..............

It being May and allegedly pretty outside, my friend and I decided to go on a walk to our favorite cafe and sip delightful ice beverages and munch on delicate sandwiches outside under the glorious sky with sunshine, etc.

Except that it was cloudy, but we took it in stride (ha) and went anyway. As soon as we sat down at our lovely table, we realized we were not alone.

No. That would have been too dignified. No, we were sitting right next to a joyful reunion of two families. A rather loud reunion.

Me and My dear friend (MDF): Nom. *eat food, sip delightful organic healthy carbonated icy fruit beverages*
People at table next to us: lady, husband of other lady, infant, 9-month old:
--Lady: Ooh, we're going to France in autumn! Ooh, yay, so exciting. SO expensive. Tsk. We're going to France!
--Husband of other lady: *patting infant* *nodding*
MDF and I: *exchange glances*
People at table next to us: now Other Lady, her six-year-old, and Lady's child join them.
--Little Girls: *holding Lady's phone* Look!
--Lady: Ooh, what did you do? *looks* Sent a message to Facebook?
--Little Girls: *incoherent*
--Lady: Join Facebook! *laughs*
--Little Girls: *louder* Mommy, the baby's eating dirt!
--Lady: Oh. *Swoops up nine-month-old and puts on metal chair* *not even trying to get it out of the baby's mouth*

The baby had been eating dirt for some time now.

--Husband of Lady: Look! *holds out plate with a loaf of bread on it* *French accent*
--Husband of Other Lady: That's some serious bread, dude!
--Husband of Lady: It was for this much money in the deli! *French accent*

MDF and I: *get cookies*
MDF and I: *come back*

People at table next to us:
--Husband of lady: *strollers Infant over to Little Girls, who are poking HUGE dogs*
--Lady: I'm so worried about my little daughter! She's had this horrible rash!
--Other Lady: Oh, usually that's caused by wheat, dairy, or soybeans!
--Husband of Lady: *eats serious bread with knife and fork*
--Lady: I know! I took her to the pediatrician but they didn't say anything. *sigh* I wonder what it could be. I thought it might be strawberries. I've tried taking away foods for a week and seeing if that affects her rash.
--Husband of Lady: *chews*
MDF and I: *exchange glances*

I think we all know what the baby's been eating that gives her a rash. . . .*ahem* dirt *ahem*

--Nine-month-old: *rocks metal chair around, shakes back of chair, falls off, eats dirt again*

My goodness, that poor baby.

I do hope French dirt is healthy.

Poisson d'Avril

It is the first of April. Not being a family for pranks and jokes (although my sister has been trying to convince me that I have a bug in my hair since eight) but feeling that we should do something, my siblings and I decided to do something French: drawing fish and taping them to people's backs. People being my aunt, with whom we are going to have frozen yogurt with at two.Oh no! I have mercury in me!

Help! I ate a plastic bag!

My name is Bob. Even if I tell you otherwise.

Yay Realization.......

I love spring because everything is my favorite color. My favorite color is the color of overcooked mashed green peas.

It's beautiful.

So I am in the car, talking excitedly to my mother about how the world is my favorite color and I how lovely it is that some of the leaves are out and aren't they a beautiful color? To which my mother looks at me and says "Emma. That is the color of pollen."

Yay. I like the color of pollen.

So, while book reviewers can say in their usual exuberant way "While the world's previous colors have been separate gems of their own, 'dark blue' is a color sure to entrance even the youngest of book reviewers." and artist can say "I love all beige. I use it in all my paintings. My masterpiece is going to be a beige canvas" and writers can say. "I like black.", I can say "I like the color that not only makes people's eyes water but makes them sneeze uncontrollably and curse the world from inside their curtained windows."