Black Friday, Yellow Monday, Green Wednesday. . . .

I know why it's called "Black Friday," (blah blah blah, stock market crash, October 29, blah blah blah) but I think that we should take things a bit further and name other days with colors. I mean, ads for Black Friday are scary. Stores open at 4am!!! Woman with her face pressed against an automatic door! Woman wrapped in clocks hyperly singing Christmas carols! Sales end at 3pm!!! Or, you can Google 'Black Friday' and watch the counter go up as, whilst shopping, people tweet, Facebook, and Myspace their purchases. All I'm saying is, very scary.

Have a merry Black Friday and a happy advent!

Thanksgiving!

Yes, Emma, we do have a US Pizza team.

*watches Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade*

And I was like. . . blink. . . .

Happy Thanksgiving!

'Twas the day before Thanksgiving. . . .

'Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and all through the house
Every creature was stirring, may nary a mouse;
A decorated mantle designed with care,
In hopes that many eyes would rest upon there;
The children were rushing upstairs to make beds,
As visions of whipped cream circled their heads;
Everything must be put away--even that cap!
But do not touch the kitties, asleep where they nap,
Do not run in front of me or there will be a clatter,
As I drop all my dishes and ask what's the matter.
Clean them up now, quick as a flash,
And do put away that old doll sash.
Malls and fake trees adorned with snow
And sparkling fake presents laying below,
It's not Christmas yet, yet these things do appear,
Like the blow-up Santa and electric reindeer,
But back to the chores, quick quick quick,
There are still six days until those of St. Nick.
But in twenty-nine hours the guests shall have came,
From where, we care not; let's just hope we remember their name;
Not Dasher, not Dancer, not Prancer nor Vixen
Not Comet, not Cupid, not Donner nor Blitzen.
Pay no attention to the reindeer names on the wall
Not sensible names for such sensible people--all
Have names like Bernard, now let a few more fly,
Auntie Gertrude, Cousin Wilbur (the one obsessed with the sky)
Every time he comes over he tells us how he flew,
And we smile and nod, like we think it's true too.
Now take this broom and go up on the roof
There shall not be a single marking, by my hoof.
To check what you've done, I shall be coming around,
Now leap up there--no ladder, just bound!
No, I am not crazy, and I could care less about your foot,
Just elevate it and stay away from the chimney soot;
If you track it in--well, just watch your back,
We're going to need guest rooms for guests to unpack.
And lots of hors d'oeuvres to keep them all merry!
If you are hungry, you may eat the last molding cherry.
Now hang up the cornhusk wreath and tighten the bow,
And please do something about all that fake snow.
When you're done with that, you may brush your teeth,
Wait! Come back! You're not done with the wreath!
And again I do not care about your big empty belly,
I gave you a cherry--you may not have a peanut butter and jelly!
Do put away that inflatable elf,
I've hardly the time do do anything myself;
With all of these jobs and my poor aching head--
If you said what I think you said you'd better be full of dread.
Why are we still talking? Now, get back to work!
How dare you not take off your shoes inside! Jerk!
And while I'm on the subject, the next time you blow your nose
Please stop using my favorite box (the one with the rose)
When you're up on the roof and you hear this whistle,
Come down quick or I'll poke you with a thistle.
Now everything's perfect--everything in my sight,
Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Step one: Copy and paste the blog address. (http://onsconesandstardust.blogspot.com/)
Step two: Open a new tab: http://www.wordle.net/create
Step 3: Paste blog address into "blog feed" spot.
Step 4: Enjoy my apparently random big words.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Auter. . . Wintumn. . . Wall. . . . Finter. . . . .

It seems to me that we have skipped a superficial stage of this season. Hmm, I wonder what it could be. . . autumn. . . hmm. . . .

WHY ON EARTH DOES IT NOT LOOK LIKE AUTUMN?

The grass is growing. Why? Because it's time for it to die. The ground is sprinkled in leaves, yet everything on the trees are green. SPRING GREEN. Some of the trees are bare, some of them are lush. I know that in our climate, there's a give-and-take two weeks of pretty trees before it rains and they're all plastered onto your car, but seriously. . . I'm still waiting. Perhaps the week-long rain plastered them early? So now what?

Also the clothes issue. I do not have any autumn clothes. My room is filled with a cacophony of clothes strewn across every surface. . . a desk. . . a bed. . . a cat. The only plus side is that my father refuses to shut my windows. Instead of going downstairs and outside and then inside and upstairs, I just walk into my room, freeze, melt, and get dressed. So simple. . . if I had the right clothes. Sigh. Shopping soon.

Excuse me. My mother has just informed me that grass is a spring AND autumn crop. Whatever. It's still weird. . . although I guess it dies in summer too. . . .

The clock tower had its own symphony last night. . . ten o'clock. . . how lovely.

Labor Day-- last day of summer or first day of autumn?

Let's take the moment to look outside and say. . .

ZOMG THAT IS FREEZING OW OW OW OWWWWWWWWWWW HYPOTHERMIA WHY ON EARTH WERE OUR WINDOWS OPEN LAST NIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Please don't look so perplexed. 'Tis true. It's September. A bit too early for hot chocolate. But I made it anyway. Why? Because it's freezing! Technically, nothing has actually frozen. But still!!! Cold! A whole sixty degrees!

Remember when that was warm to us? This has led me to believe that, in fact, Labor Day is not the last day of summer but the first day of autumn. So we should celebrate in a fit manner. However, because my dear mother has just pointed out that we do not yet have any autumn food, we should have a big USING UP SUMMER FOOD! party.

I'm off and about. Aloha.