'Twas the day before Thanksgiving. . . .

'Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and all through the house
Every creature was stirring, may nary a mouse;
A decorated mantle designed with care,
In hopes that many eyes would rest upon there;
The children were rushing upstairs to make beds,
As visions of whipped cream circled their heads;
Everything must be put away--even that cap!
But do not touch the kitties, asleep where they nap,
Do not run in front of me or there will be a clatter,
As I drop all my dishes and ask what's the matter.
Clean them up now, quick as a flash,
And do put away that old doll sash.
Malls and fake trees adorned with snow
And sparkling fake presents laying below,
It's not Christmas yet, yet these things do appear,
Like the blow-up Santa and electric reindeer,
But back to the chores, quick quick quick,
There are still six days until those of St. Nick.
But in twenty-nine hours the guests shall have came,
From where, we care not; let's just hope we remember their name;
Not Dasher, not Dancer, not Prancer nor Vixen
Not Comet, not Cupid, not Donner nor Blitzen.
Pay no attention to the reindeer names on the wall
Not sensible names for such sensible people--all
Have names like Bernard, now let a few more fly,
Auntie Gertrude, Cousin Wilbur (the one obsessed with the sky)
Every time he comes over he tells us how he flew,
And we smile and nod, like we think it's true too.
Now take this broom and go up on the roof
There shall not be a single marking, by my hoof.
To check what you've done, I shall be coming around,
Now leap up there--no ladder, just bound!
No, I am not crazy, and I could care less about your foot,
Just elevate it and stay away from the chimney soot;
If you track it in--well, just watch your back,
We're going to need guest rooms for guests to unpack.
And lots of hors d'oeuvres to keep them all merry!
If you are hungry, you may eat the last molding cherry.
Now hang up the cornhusk wreath and tighten the bow,
And please do something about all that fake snow.
When you're done with that, you may brush your teeth,
Wait! Come back! You're not done with the wreath!
And again I do not care about your big empty belly,
I gave you a cherry--you may not have a peanut butter and jelly!
Do put away that inflatable elf,
I've hardly the time do do anything myself;
With all of these jobs and my poor aching head--
If you said what I think you said you'd better be full of dread.
Why are we still talking? Now, get back to work!
How dare you not take off your shoes inside! Jerk!
And while I'm on the subject, the next time you blow your nose
Please stop using my favorite box (the one with the rose)
When you're up on the roof and you hear this whistle,
Come down quick or I'll poke you with a thistle.
Now everything's perfect--everything in my sight,
Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!